Negative Self-Talk: Five steps to stop it!

Negative self-talk: 5 steps to stop it

It screams. It whispers. It implants doubt and fear. We know it’s not true. We have proof everywhere. Yet our negative thoughts persist through failure and success. 

We all have the uninspiring negative voice in our head. I’ve spent a lifetime learning to let my negative thoughts lie dormant and unfed. I’ve grown and changed. It has been a worthy commitment.

Every honest teacher admits they have their moments. They simply know how to not to give their negative self-talk power. You can learn to do this too. 

When you get comfortable with those pesky thoughts, without having to change or fix them, you will take back your power. 

You can change the way you see things. You can love yourself just as you are. You can be who and what you want to be. You can master your mind and emotions. 

Remember they are just thoughts!

How to deal with your negative thoughts. 

1.    Get comfortable being uncomfortable

Your subconscious mind is running the show. We humans are programmed to stay safe. Safety means not veering from what you have been taught and what you have already experienced.

The master in your head is keeping you in line with lots of negative reinforcement. Don’t think you’re all that. Remember when you tried. You’re not smart enough, good enough, not young enough, not good looking … not enough.

This is the challenge: The closer you get to releasing your unknown attachment to familiarity and safety, the louder that voice will shout.  

Change is uncomfortable. Change your mind and the rest will follow. This is where your power lies.

2.    Notice, Don’t fix, Accept 

Our urge is to control and fix whatever is happening in our life. We cannot fix anything. 

We can change our limited perspective. We can open new doors. We can accept our journey. We can focus on what we want, not what we don’t want. We can take action. We can listen for the voice and talk to it. 

I hear you. I am enough. I know I can do this. I understand more every day. I am smart enough. I am capable. I am lovable. I am happy. I am already successful. 

Look for the things you feel good about. Learn to embrace life’s ups and downs. Get your mind on board by repeatedly saying yes to what you want. Instill yes I can thoughts. Ignore no I can’t.

Learn to discern what is a habit thought and what is an empowering thought. You can be in one space or the other. Not both!   

Habit thought – I can’t do this Empowering thought – I can do this 

You get to choose which thought you feed. 

What you resist, persists. Carl Jung

3.    Compassion and Self-love

Remember to breathe. Loving yourself requires giving yourself time to reflect. It means being willing to admit to yourself what you want, and to say a big fat yes to you. 

It also means giving yourself compassion for what you think you’ve done wrong. Breathe, get present and connect to the gifts that have come from the hardest times.

How do you currently take care of yourself? Do you take time out from the chaos around you? Do you ever say no?

When my children were little, I took a bath after they went to bed. It helped me get clear and calm down. I am hyper by nature. When I get out of step with meditation and yoga it affects me. I quickly get back on track and if I don’t, I know there is some internal work for me to do. 

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.  Oprah Winfrey

4.    Take a look at what you are not doing or not saying 

Speaking of internal work! 

We are all different and it is important to take your own approach. Therapy or coaching can assist in this process. You can meditate, journal, do yoga, talk to a trusted friend. You can just ask yourself these questions.  

·      What is really bothering me?

·      Is this something I have control of? 

·      Where do I feel the discomfort?

·      How are these thoughts keeping me stuck? 

·      Is there an action to take?

·      What’s a new empowering thought?  

5.    Practice, practice, practice 

As a friend of mine once said, “Practice makes permanent.”  Be careful what you practice. 

• Breathe

• Notice your thoughts 

• Let them be

• Feel your discomfort

• Give yourself some love

• Replace with new, more empowering thoughts

• Practice, Practice, and Practice some more

Do the work of letting go of old ideas and habit thinking. STOP, listen, breathe, ask, be yourself.

This can be a challenging habit to kick because your mind is trying to keep you safe. If you focus on being worthy of what you want, bit by bit, you will fully love yourself and your life.  

If you want to free yourself so you can be yourself, you are in the right place. If you want a richer, happier, more meaningful life, now is your time. Grab your free workbook today!